#Never Forget

The anniversary of September 11, 2001 continues to seem like a golden opportunity to cash in on the raw emotions felt by many Americans. If you’re tone-deaf and completely idiotic.

This tweet went out on AT&T’s account this morning. Naturally, it’s subsequently been removed.

AT&T 9/11 Advertisement

Thanks to the Huffington Post for the screenshot

“Never Forget” requests the tweet.

I’m willing to bet someone forgets how bad an idea this is before 365 days have elapsed.


What could be more social than tailgating? Beer, brats, bros – the elements are all there for a wonderful day of sports enjoyment.

If you watch a sporting event on TV, you’ll see an average of 4, 362 ads during the course of the event. At least 200% of these ads will be staged at a tailgate party or at a viewing gathering at a bar or house. The announcers of the game have a 92% chance of giving you 5.2 useless and inane statistics per breath while saying, “…you talk about the X…,” and, “…from the standpoint of…” in 55.8% of sentences during clear weather – unless it’s the playoffs, when the number drops to 44.8%.

But if you’re actually at a tailgate party, surrounded by merry friends, monomaniacal fans and a misappropriated feline, AT&T has a best-practices guide for your behavior. Be a jagoff.

The basics:

Your Friend: “Hey, buddy, I care about you and like for you to feel included. Did you hear this really interesting news I just heard?”
You: “Um, yeah, jackass – heard that already – Where have you been?”

Advanced cases:

Your friend: “Hey guys! I respect your knowledge and would like to learn how to do something. Can you help me?”
You: “You’re dumb – we already know how to do that and won’t help you learn.”


Your friend: “I love you and don’t want you to be eaten by a tig-”
You: “Dude, the tiger is already full.”

All of the sweet, thoughtful people in the ad are dismissed as behind-the-times, and we’re supposed to want to emulate the only two d-bags.

This isn’t the only version of the ad. Though the heroes are now women, the same “emulate the a-hole” dynamics are hard at work here too. Terrible.


Summoning Bad Ads from Nowhere

AT&T has been running this wickedBADvertisement since the launch of the new iPhone 4s.

An attractive young couple is getting ready to share a “Romantic Dinner” beneath a canopy of twinkle lights. A fire warms the patrons (and the spirit). Glasses and silverware clink as low, heartfelt conversations are had by all of the smiling and nodding couples in the ostensibly two-top only restaurant that serves hearty meals comprised of bread and water.

Then, we learn that the featured guy is a liar. He’s not paying attention to his lovely date. He’s watching the game on his phone in his lap. Oh, and clearly they’ve spoken about this issue already – he’s defensive at her suggestion that he might be multi-tasking their date. Which he is. So she backtracks, reminding him of earlier issues which have caused her to be a little, “over-sensitive.” Of course, we now know that she was right in the earlier situations too, making it all the more sad that she’s still with this guy. He’s basically lied his way into making her doubt herself all the time. He’s a good liar too – eye contact and all. He might believe his lies. He might not care who knows, so long as he gets what he wants from the situation. He might be a sociopath.

Fortunately (for her), they’re not married (pause at 0.16 to view his ring-less left hand, flailing demonstratively in deceptive protest). This guy is a class-A douche, but… he’s the ROLE MODEL in the ad.

Sales pitch: You too can effortlessly deceive your nagging, attention-wanting partner with our new, fast network.